Its okay to not be okay.

Its okay to be sad. Its okay to cry. 
Do you hear me, it is OKAY.

Its 1:05 in the morning and I was getting ready for bed as I had a 12 hr shift that day, bright and early. As always I pray before bed, usually what I am thankful for and just my overall gratitude for life. This night I added my blog to my prayer, as it is something very important to me. I asked for guidance. 

I thought to myself how I made a great first impression when I first launched my blog so I wanted to live up to the standard but for whatever reason my motivation was already lost. I am scheduled to publish a new blog on Sunday and here I am without a clue in the world on what I’ ll be typing about. My prayer then got deep. Like deep deep you guys. I felt a huge wave of sadness overcome my body and then came the waterworks. I thought I was upset about losing the motivation I once had for my blog but turns out it was that reason plus about 4 more.

So that’s what led me to my title, “Its okay to not be okay.” 

I’m so guilty of crying behind closed doors one second and the next second I’m wiping my tears and stepping out with a smile on my face like what just happened didn’t happen. But have you ever really thought to yourself why is it that you’re hiding how you’re feeling? Is it because you’re embarrassed about what you’re going through? Do you feel like no one will get where you’re coming from? Do you believe they’ll think you’re stupid for even being sad in the first place?

I’ve learnt that when we let things build up inside that’s when we become vulnerable. It’s okay to need help. Sometimes we just need someone to hear us, not even asking for advice, just someone to listen. Let me rant to you, let me talk about whats been on my mind. Or you’d be surprised at how comforting a hug can be. Don’t be scared to ask! A tight hug from your parent/grandparent, best friend or your significant other can really do wonders. It’s almost like instant relief.

“No matter how big or small it may be, stepping up to a challenge can be daunting, especially if you’re used to keeping quiet and playing it safe. Still, it’s best to recognize facing the challenge may be the best thing to do at the time”.

Addressing issues when they happen and who they happened with is the key to your happiness. For example lets say you got into a heated argument with someone you love, someone that has holds a special place in your heart and is your go to person in any situation. You guys argued and now you two are holding a grudge, something comes up and you need them. If you would have addressed the problem you had when it happened, the faster it would have been resolved and you two could have been fine again.

Another example of why letting things build up inside is bad- imagine having a car that needs it’s breaks changed. The more you use the car without replacing the breaks the more wear and tear you’re creating (the “wear and tear” in your real life is your heart). Eventually the breaks on your car are gonna give out and you’re gonna crash. So eventually there’s only so much your heart can take before your emotions get the best of you. That’s when you’ve hit what people call “rock bottom”.

Did you understand my example? No? Its okay I barely understood it myself, it sounded good in my head tho. Anyways what I’m trying to get at is to face things as they come, don’t push it to the side, obviously you’re not okay and the more things that continue to happen to you without being properly addressed the faster you will sink and reach your rock bottom. The more you use the car without breaks the more damage you’re creating.

“It is okay to not be okay, it is not okay to not do anything about it”. – T             (I just made that up, literally just now. Its 2:03 am)

Slowly but surely I am learning how to face things as soon as they happen, and for that I am thankful. I hope after reading this blog you’ll get the courage to address issues as they come, and if you run into a lil hiccup with someone you’ll resolve it then and there. Never be afraid to ask for help if need be. Speak to someone about what you’re going through. Stop crying out for help where no one can hear you! And hey if you don’t have someone to turn too let me be your someone. I can be all ears no talk or I can be your shoulder to cry on. Whatever the need may be, anyone can count on me.

Love, T


The blogger vs the reader.

Let me introduce myself, my name is Thatiana and I am the blogger. Yeah the T could stand for my name, but I prefer Thankful because I am blessed and you are too. As the blogger, I’ve decided to give you nothing but real. Think of it as the former MTV series True Life, except I give you, The Blog Edition.

My life, similar to a’lot of yalls, yes I said yalls. Before I continue let me reiterate, I’m giving you nothing but real, I want you to read my blog, yet hear my voice plus imagine my face. So I type the way I talk. Carrying on, my life, similar to a’lot of yalls isn’t always in order. I go through shit, I stress, I cry, I pray, and I wait. I wait for change, I wait for results, whether it be a random tweet or my horoscope, I wait for something that speaks to me and tells me its gonna be okay.  Sometimes I get that or sometimes I’m hit with something that knocks me down a couple more steps as if I wasn’t at the bottom of the staircase already. Here I am though, pushing through, pushing forward. Join me on my journey of trials and tribulations. 

You, the reader, here is your outlet. Let’s talk. I would like to give my readers the opportunity to openly or anonymously ask me ANYTHING and receive an open response right here on the blog! This is a no judgment GROWTH zone. Help me help you. Whether I have the answer in front of me or have to dive deep to find it.

For starters, you can expect a weekly blog from me, I like Sundays. Why? Because Self Care Sundays are lit you guys. So ladies or gents, we don’t discriminate, put on the face masks, grab your wine, relax and read in on my latest T.

Love, t